Magical House Cleaning Eggless Chocolate Chip Cookies for When Everything is Sticky

Inside: You could clean your house, or bake some eggless chocolate chip cookies and call it a day! Scroll down to the bottom for the recipe, or stick around for some laughs first.

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We have a two year old and a ten month old, so everything is sticky. Everything.

It’s gotten to the point where if a surface in my house is clean for more than 30 seconds I get uncomfortable and throw some honey on it. All of my shoes have Hot Wheels stickers on the bottom. One day Jack and Norah both had jelly in their hair and I don’t remember feeding them jelly that day…

But I’ve found the solution that allows us to still entertain friends at our home and it’s not baby wipes, Swiffer WetJet, or Lysol (although I own stock in all three). It’s chocolate chip cookies.

Hear me out on this. I have fully researched this sensory based theory (read: thought about it for 20 minutes on my commute) and it feels airtight.

Smell

When you walk into someone’s house the first thing you’re doing isn’t inspecting the counter tops, but subconsciously you are taking in the smell. “Oh hello friends, wow it smells like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in here. You must really have your act together.”

(Insert maniacal laugh here.)

Sound

Moving onto sound. The sound of silence. Because your two year old is stuffing his face full of chocolate chip cookie. The ruse of having your act together since no one is yelling about Curious George or juice at the moment continues.

Sight

Sight is hard because if everything is sticky that also means there is stuff all over your house. And super weird stuff too, like corn on the cobb under your couch (that’s a real example). But if you greet your guest with the smell of chocolate chip cookies, and your toddler is silently eating one, then you have bought yourself enough time to explain “Jack wanted to make cookies for you! Isn’t that adorable? We just finished making them so please excuse the mess.”

Judge my toddler for painstakingly baking you homemade cookies and getting some flour (and butter, and yogurt, and for some reason glue…) on the floor, I dare you.

Touch

Touch is also clearly a challenge because you don’t want your guests to touch anything or they might get stuck forever and be forced to move in.

But toss them a cookie when they walk in the door, ideally two so their hands are full, and then keep them coming for the next 2.5 hours. Everyone leaves happy, slightly nauseous, and not stuck to the furniture.

Also after you have eaten 12 chocolate chip cookies who’s to say you weren’t the one that got the couch sticky, dear guest?

Taste

Taste doesn’t require explanation. It’s a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie. Guests are happy, you’re happy, toddler is happy, the good people at Nestle are happy… Everyone wins.

Eggless Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe

Ingredients:

• 2 1/4 cups flour
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 1 tbsp salt
• 1 tbsp baking powder
• 1 tbsp vanilla extract
• 15 tbsp margarine
• 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt
• 1/2 bag chocolate chips
• 1/2 bag butterscotch chips

Recipe:

• Preheat over to 350.
• Mix all ingredients (minus the chocolate chips and butterscotch chips) with a handmixer.
• Add in the chips and stir.
• Place balls of dough on a cookie sheet (12 per cookie sheet)
• Bake for 15 minutes.
• Enjoy!

So come on over. And feel free to leave your shoes on, that’s really the least of our problems.

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