I’d Marry February – In Defense of America’s Least Favorite Month

Did you know that February is America’s least favorite month?

According to a Gallup poll in 2005, February sat at the very bottom of the list. (A list I find suspect because May was #1. Really? May? But fine.)

In any case, as we kick off the month I feel it’s time to share my defense of February. I feel really strongly that it does not deserve least favorite status.

In fact, while it still isn’t my favorite month, I have to say that if February was a person I would totally marry February.

Here’s why.

Why I Would Marry February

February is Stable

You can trust February, unlike it’s cousin March.

You never know what you are going to get in March. In like a lion, out like a lamb they say. But sometimes it is in like a lamb, then it’s a lion the next day, then a kangaroo, a koala, a snapping turtle, and an angry chain-smoking giraffe. It’s enough to make you cry angry wind-blown tears.

Honestly the same could be said of April.

But February doesn’t play games. It’s cold in February. It’s going to snow. We know the deal. I enjoy having my expectations be met in a relationship.

February is Whimsical

Stability is great in a relationship because you feel like you know where you stand. There is a comfort level.

But what’s life without a little whimsy? So February brings just a touch of spice by adding a day every four years, just for fun! How adorable is that? No other month adds a day – they couldn’t get away with it.

Add in a holiday dedicated to allowing an animal to predict the weather and you have just the right amount of cute little habits that will endear you to a calendar spouse.

One more once of whimsy and February would be all up in your face like December. But February doesn’t need the spotlight to shine.

February is Self-Aware

February knows that it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea because of the slush, sub-zero temperatures, and it’s rather divisive Hallmark holiday.

But to make up for all that, February has made itself easier to get through than other months by shortening itself by several days AND offering up a day off work holiday mid-month. That’s excellent self-awareness, not to mention quite thoughtful.

Does March do that? Absolutely not. There will be no reprieve. Plus it’s like March doesn’t even know that it’s being a pain in everyone’s rear, shoulders, and noses. March thinks it’s totally “all that and a bag of chips”, if you will, so of course you’re going to enjoy all 31 days and the full work weeks.

My word… I couldn’t even date March.

February Loves You Like You Are

January wants you to be the optimal version of yourself and strive for greatness. July wants you to be living your best life and spending every single moment outside soaking up summer. December wants you to be full of holiday cheer at all times. Don’t even get me started on October.

I’m all for fulfillment and joy and dream chasing. Of course! But sometimes a girl just wants to eat her body weight in chocolate while sitting on the couch watching QVC and not feel bad about that. You know what month lets you do that? February. It doesn’t want to change you and it refrains from judgment. February is the #youdoyouboo of months.

Image result for i like that bachelor arie gif

Till March Do We Part

So next time the good people at Gallup do a favorite month poll, give February a chance. It doesn’t have to be your favorite month. Because September. Clearly. But does it honestly deserve last place? I argue no.

Oh, and February, if this thing with Glen doesn’t pan out, I’ll give you a call. I honestly think we could make this work.

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      1. Except it eliminates one of your other ones—consistency. I’m sorry Becca, but all the months would make equally terrible husbands.

  1. February pumps me up. It’s very I-can-do-this. Because of the 28 days. Or 29. Something about those other months with days starting in the thirties is so DAUNTING.
    Also, as always, you are the funniest lady on the internet.

    1. Hahaha I told Glen that and he agreed that you are on point. Add in Glen randomly shouting out “hypocrisy!” and this is how we talk.

  2. Y’know, I usually despise February, but you make some good points. And the weather was halfway decent this year. March used to be my favorite, but it’s sorely disappointing me!

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