How to Develop Motherhood Goals: Redefine Success on Your Own Terms
Inside: New podcast episode alert! This week on When Mommy Grows Up, we’re talking about setting motherhood goals to help guide your career and life decisions.
Have you ever been asked “Where do you see yourself in five years?” in a job interview? Probably! It’s a common interview question and we’re taught early in our careers that we should always have goals. Clear, measurable, and forward-looking goals that guide our decisions.
But we rarely apply that same intentional, goal-oriented mindset to our lives as parents.
And when we don’t, it can leave us feeling like we’re drifting between two worlds — the professional and the personal — without a clear definition of what success looks like for us today.
That’s where this week’s When Mommy Grows Up podcast story on motherhood goals comes in.
Listen here: Crafting Your “Mother’s Vision” and Defining Success on Your Terms – Amanda’s Story
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Meet Amanda
Amanda is in her mid-30s, a mom to a busy toddler and pregnant with her second child. She’s also a corporate communications leader at a Fortune 500 company and a total rock star. Amanda has earned her way to the top through hard work, talent, and being the “go-to” person for high-stakes projects and mentoring junior staff.
When we met, Amanda was staring down an exciting (but intimidating) crossroads. A promotion was on the horizon and this new gig would mean even more travel, more pressure, and less time at home.
She loved her work, and she was good at it. But she also loved being a mom. And she didn’t quite know what she wanted next.
All around her, Amanda was watching other moms make bold choices. Some were stepping away from full-time work to stay home, others were leaning all the way in and climbing higher on the corporate ladder. Both paths looked valid. Neither felt exactly right for her.
The Messy Middle
Amanda joined my Career Clarity Program because of that key word – clarity!
Up to this point, her path had always been clear. From internships, to promotions, to achievements. But now things felt different. For the first time, there wasn’t one “right next step.” There were multiple options, and each came with tradeoffs that hit both her career and her identity as a mom.
In our early conversations, there were three key things Amanda was grappling with:
- An inflection point. After her first parental leave, Amanda realized she genuinely missed work. She was excited to return, but when she did the travel and time away weighed on her.
- An identity shift. Motherhood had changed what Amanda valued. She still wanted to make an impact at work, but she wanted work to fit into her life, not the other way around. Time was now her most precious resource.
- The self-talk spiral. Amanda’s inner dialogue was filled with “shoulds.” Real leaders don’t take a step back. Good moms are always available. You may have said similar things to yourself. These aren’t facts, though. They’re inherited expectations that deserve to be questioned.
With these reflections on the table, we were ready for a powerful next step to develop her motherhood goals: the Mother’s Vision exercise.
The “Mother’s Vision” Exercise to Set Motherhood Goals
This exercise, developed by Barbara Palmer of Your Fourth Trimester, is one of my favorite tools for helping moms like Amanda (and like you!) redefine success in motherhood and work. (If you’re read When Mommy Grows Up: Finding Career Clarity While Covered in Kids you might remember this from chapter 4!)
Here’s how it works:
Imagine yourself in your home about 10 or 15 years from now. Your kids are teenagers or young adults and they are sitting on the couch talking to each other about their childhood. They don’t know you’re in the other room listening.
What do you hope they’re saying?
Barbara designed this as a reflection and storytelling exercise. It’s not about crafting the “perfect mom” story. It’s about clarifying your values and your long-term vision so you can make decisions in alignment with them today.
There are three core questions to guide the reflection:
1. How do you hope your kids see you as a parent?
When I asked Amanda this, she said she hoped her kids would remember her as a present and loving mom. She wanted them to say she was someone who supported their dreams, showed up for important moments, and gave them space to grow into their own people.
She didn’t want to be perfect. She wanted to be there.
That distinction matters.
2. How do you hope your kids see you as a professional?
Next, I asked how she wanted her kids to see her work life. Amanda said: capable and creative.
She wanted her kids to know she was trusted with important projects, that she loved what she did, and that she was modeling what it looks like to find joy and purpose in your career.
She also wanted them to see her as someone who set boundaries. Someone who worked hard, but was intentional about when she was “on” and when she was home and present.
Work-life balance may not be perfectly even, but we can still model balance through the choices we make.
3. What do you hope your kids are grateful for?
Finally, I asked Amanda what she hoped her kids would say they were thankful for.
At first, she mentioned the tangible things like their home, their community, and their opportunities. But as she reflected more deeply, she realized she wanted them to feel grateful that they knew her, not just as “mom,” but as a whole person.
She wanted them to feel seen, loved, and supported, and also to remember her as someone who changed when she needed to, who wasn’t afraid to evolve as life evolved.
She wanted them to know that’s it’s okay to make changes when your priorities shift. That’s strength, not failure.
Redefining Success and Taking Action Based on Your Motherhood Goals
Through this exercise, Amanda started to see that success didn’t have to mean “promotion” or “pause.” There was an entire spectrum of possibilities between the two extremes.
She could shape her role differently. She could advocate for flexibility. She could explore other paths within her company or even outside of it. She could define what leadership looked like for her in this season, not what the world told her it should look like.
And that’s when something shifted.
She realized she could apply the same skills that made her so good at her job like strategy, creativity, and communication to designing her life.
By starting with a clear vision for who she wanted to be as a mother and professional, Amanda finally felt grounded in her decision-making. She could evaluate opportunities not based on what she “should” do, but on what aligned with her vision.
Start Setting Your Motherhood Goals
You can do this too. Here’s how to get started:
- Set the scene. Picture yourself 10 years in the future. Your kids are older, and they’re talking about their childhood.
- Ask the three questions:
- How do you hope they see you as a parent?
- How do you hope they see you as a professional?
- What do you hope they’re grateful for?
- Write down what comes up. Don’t overthink it. Let it flow.
- Look for themes. What values stand out? What do you want to prioritize? How does this vision align with the decisions you’re making right now?
You might be surprised by what you uncover.
Motherhood – Your Way!
Amanda’s story reminds us that success isn’t about choosing between motherhood or career. It’s about defining what matters most and designing your work and life to fit that vision.
You get to be the author of your own story, and that story can include ambition, love, creativity, and change.
So grab a notebook, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and take 15 minutes to envision your future and set some motherhood goals.
What do you want your kids to say about you and what can you start doing today to make that story a reality?
Want to keep rolling with your career clarity process?
Download the free Career Clarity Kickstart! It’s five podcast episodes designed to help you go from confused about next steps to confident about what you want and need from your career.
Because you’re still growing up, and that’s a beautiful thing!
