It’s Not You, It’s Me (Career Lessons Learned from 5 Guys Named Chad)

Inside: What kind of career lesson can be learned from 21 year old dating mistakes? A pretty big one actually!

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Between summer 2006 and summer 2007 I dated five different guys named Chad.* In a row.

This is their story. (Dun Dun)

And the career and personal development lessons I learned from them. (Dun Dun again)

Chad’s Got Jokes

Chad 1 kicked off the year.

He was really funny. He was also the catalyst for my friends implementing a pre-date requirement of providing first and last name details of your date to at least three independent parties before going out. The night of our first date I came home late and the girls were all around a computer googling “Chad who works at IBM” in case they needed to file a missing person report.

Unfortunately Chad didn’t even work at IBM so that was a dead end.

Besides being funny, turns out Chad 1 also had a really serious girlfriend. Yikes… Bye Chad 1.

Chad Had Plans with His Cat

I tried with Chad 2 but it never really got off the ground. He was super into his cats and I’m super into not breaking out into hives. Fare thee well, Chad 2.

Chad Had to Get Out of There Pronto

Chad 3 was very tall. He also somehow convinced me and my friends to go back to a strangers’ basement apartment to play ping pong the night we met.

It worked out fine because we actually played ping pong and weren’t murdered but still, I’ve made better life choices.

I turned into a Stage 5 Clinger with Chad 3 (who, to be fair to myself, should also admit to being pretty uncool at the end there) and let’s just say it didn’t work out.

The Ghost of Chad

Chad 4 knows what he did.

Actually, Chad 4 ended up being my favorite Chad. Originally I was interested in him for the sake of the story. We were on four Chads in a span of nine months and at some point you just need to commit. But he was a very nice guy and fun to hang out with until he ghosted. Poof. Vanished.

If I remember correctly he ended up getting back in touch to apologize for ghosting. So props, Chad 4. I hope you’re well.

Chad Probably Flossed Regularly

Chad 5 was 90% for the story, 5% because he looked like he should be in toothpaste commercials, and 5% youthful vengeance.

And I should clarify this with a big asterisk that says by “dated” I mean “danced with one Saturday night at a bar called Tequila Rain.” (RIP. Tequila Rain, not Chad 5 to my knowledge).

A previous Chad was at the bar that night too and he needed to be made aware that I was totally fine Chad-less. So I found another Chad. This logic made a lot more sense at 21.

Hanging (Up Now) Chad

After the year of Chads I met my Glen. I stepped out of the bar scene, stopped dating guys purely because of their name, and tried out online dating. Glen was the second person I met online dating and we never looked back.

The career development lesson in all this: stop doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.

If your resume isn’t getting hits, take another look at your resume. If you’re not getting second-round interviews, get feedback. If you’re hitting a dead end in your job search, try a different strategy.

In the world of dating, the phrase “it’s not you, it’s me” gets tossed around a lot. And you know what? In this whole Chad situation, it was true. It definitely was me. I was making the same Chad decision over and over again. Besides their name, these dudes had a lot in common, and we’re weren’t going to work out.

“It’s not you, it’s me” can be true in your career development too. That’s not a bad thing. It means you have control over what you do next. That’s a great thing actually!

So in case any of my Chads are out there are reading – thanks for the memories, the personal growth opportunities, and the material. Mostly the material. And to all the job seekers out there, break the cycle and go get what you want.

What you really, really want.

*Name changed to Chad because in a cross reference of the top 100 boy names of the 1980s and my Facebook friends it was the only one that didn’t overlap. That was a pretty good use of time I’d say.

Want another career development lesson from a story that has no business being about careers? I’ve got you!